Yet another hotly contested grudge match with Team Schmells vs Team Yellow.

Team Schmells, playing in mufti, captained by Ben “Slasher Schmells” Scammels started out strongly, with frequent surges down the pitch- favouring the tried and tested tactics of ‘kick the ball to Doddsy’. Grabbing a brace of goals within the first 10 minutes, Team Schmells certainly looked like an impenetrable fortress. However, with resolutely gritted teeth, Team Yellow, captained by Bryan “I love Data” Dobson fought back well, equalising through a captain’s double. At this point the game hung in the balance; both teams’ fitness tested to levels unseen since Paul Gascoigne last took to the pitch. With both teams employing minute by minute tactical changes, ranging from ‘boot the ball to whoever’s still able to run’ to the unorthodox, but effective ‘only pass the ball to your own team’; the scores stood at 5-3 to Team Yellow.  

With 20 minutes left Team Schmells put the ball into the opposition net for the last time following an excellent solo run and chipped cross from David “Barn door” Dodds and Ali Saeed gracefully leaping like a salmon resulting in a magnificent header past the defenseless James Nguyen.

After this high point the game turned into what can only be described as a rout, with Dobson grabbing his hat-trick, Jack Craig, Kemp, MacGyver and the tireless Nguyen all adding to the tally for Team Yellow. The cohesion of Team Schmells seemed to disappear as quickly as used tissue paper, with Richard “R Kelly” Smith unlucky to be caught out in goal for the final Team Yellow goal making the final score 9-4 to Dobson’s Team Yellow.

When asked for comment, winning captain Dobson provided this statement:  “both teams played well, but the true winner here has to be email marketing”.

Match statistics:

Final score: 9-4 Team Yellow

Scorers:

Team Schmells

Dodds 2

Ali 1

Scammels 1

Team Yellow

Macguyver- 1

Kuljit- 2

Jack- 1

Gary 2

Dobson 3

Man of the Match: James Nguyen

Monty’s Marauders won the integral e-Dialog Park Cricket match on a sunny day in London’s Regent’s Park. The victorious side, lead by captain Ryan D’Souza, secured victory with a score of 72 runs off 48 balls.
Monty’s Marauders won the toss and chose to bat on a difficult pitch in the 14 over, two innings game.
Smith opened the bowling for Wet Cat Sandwich, sending in a series of left hand slow looseners to Montgomery, but the real action came in the second over. Bernelas, the young French prospect making her cricketing debut, produced subtle swing whilst bowling to Richardson. Her quality proved decisive late in the over as Richardson hooked the ball into the hands of Bryan Dobson, fielding at Long On.
However Richardson was granted a reprieve as Wet Cat Sandwich sportingly allowed him to bat again as a replacement for Montgomery, who picked up an early injury. Whilst questions will be asked about the validity of Montgomery’s injury, Richardson did show some batting ability with a knock of 12.
With further contributions from Houlton, Morrison, Scammels and De Faria Monty’s Marauders finished their first innings with a total of 28.
Wet Cat Sandwich’s first innings were dominated by the partnership of opening batsmen, Bernelas and Capelle. With some confident running between the stumps and determined batting from both, the French speaking duo unsettled the bowling attack. Such was their dominance that Wet Cat Sandwich’s lower order batsmen of Dodds and Smith were left in the pavilion for the first innings.
As successful as Wet Cat Sandwich had been at protecting their wickets, their cautious approach left them with a measly total of 24 at the half way point, meaning they had to reverse a 4 run deficit in the second innings.
Wet Cat Sandwich’s attempts to claw themselves back into the game were dealt a swift blow, as D’Souza (20 no) and Houlton (19) lead the scoring for Monty’s Marauders, who finished with a second innings total of 44.
A valiant effort from Dobson, who scored with confidence and impressive technique was not enough for Wet Cat Sandwich’s, eventually falling 8 runs short of the Monty’s Marauders total of 72.